Life is full of uncertainties, and sometimes, unexpected events can take place that can leave us questioning our decisions. Such is the case for me when I had an aneurysm a few months ago. Aneurysms are life-threatening, and surviving one is a miracle in itself. I felt grateful to be alive, but at the same time, I was unsure if the choices I made after my recovery were right or not.
One such choice was going to bars. I drank too much, made friends, and found hope, but it also made me wonder whether it was the right thing to do. Drinking after my aneurysm felt like a betrayal to my own self and my body that had barely survived. Yet, the company I found in those bars felt like a comfort I had been longing for. It was in those bars that I met people who truly didn't need to understood the pain and uncertainty that comes after a life-altering event. We bonded without me having to share my experiences.
We shared victories and even our failures. They helped me realize that even though the future was uncertain, there was still hope. I felt like I was not alone, and that gave me the strength to carry on. However, I cannot deny that I drank too much, and it had physical repercussions. My body was weak, and drinking made it weaker. But then again, I also found moments of joy and comfort in those bars, things that were much needed in my life at that time.
So, was going to bars the right thing to do after my aneurysm? I cannot say for sure. It is a decision I struggle with even now. But what I can say is that it helped me find a sense of belonging, made me realize that I was not alone, and gave me a glimmer of hope when the future felt uncertain. The truth is, life is complicated, and the decisions we make are not always black or white. It is okay to feel conflicted and unsure because it is a sign that we are trying to do the right thing. What matters is that we learn from our experiences, grow from our mistakes, and keep moving forward.