Five years ago, I was a woman without much faith in love. Every relationship I had ever been in seemed to end the same way - with me walking away feeling so much better alone. So when my friends asked if I'd ever get married, it felt like a ridiculous question - how could anyone find someone who would accurately want someone who went through brain trauma? How could I find someone that would make me feel safe?
The doctors said I would never make a full recovery. An acquaintance told me I would remain alone for the rest of my life because I was too much trouble and not attractive enough. But I had no intention of listening to them. I truly believed I would never find a man that would want me or even understand me but I had no intention of hiding at home and giving up on life.
Instead I chose to focus on what I could do instead of dwelling on what I couldn't do anymore. I went out and made new friends. I really got to know my town. I learned how to accept and be happy with myself.
I was scrolling through the dating site for what felt like the hundredth time that day. I had been feeling bored by all of the profiles but then something caught my eye. It was him. He looked so handsome in his work clothes and he was holding a small child in his arms - a sight that sent warmth radiating through me. But as quickly as it came, it faded away again. I didn’t want to meet a man with young children.
I reminded myself of why I’d put up this profile in the first place. I wanted to find someone who understood me and how living life to its fullest each day meant more than working hard at some career goal.
Still, despite my misgivings, there was just something about him that made me come back again and again until finally I decided to “like” him anyway. After all, he was too good looking to pass up!
A few days later we had arranged our first face-to-face meeting at On The Edge, a local coffee house. It also happened to be close enough to walk there easily from home. We spent at least two hours talking about anything and everything under the sun – from our past experiences with love and heartbreak, all of our family drama (of which there seemed plenty on both sides), even down to mundane stories about life.
We also talked about things we went through in the hospital. He also went through a life threatening trauma and somehow survived. Throughout it all there were no awkward silences. We always managed to find common ground. Not only did we both face death. We also lived our lives and enjoyed many of the same places and local bands.
Even though we were very different people we lived the same lives. We shared so much in common deep down inside where it mattered most. We understood each other’s desire for living life.
Living every single day as if it could end any moment due to some unforeseen circumstance…like mine when I almost died from a ruptured brain aneurysm not long ago. He understood the importance of embracing every second of joy.
By the time we said goodbye a couple hours later I didn’t want that afternoon to ever have an end. We said goodbye. I assumed he just wanted to be friends as he walked away. Generally, a man would plan for the next date right away but he didn’t.
I felt disappointed but thought at least I found a friend. But then, he basically, yelled across parking lot and asked me out. We went out the very next day.
I had never expected such an amazing life after suffering a ruptured brain aneurysm almost five years ago. After that intense trauma, my life changed in unimaginable ways. I lost many things: memory, physical abilities, relationships, independence - yet despite all these losses there remained one thing that stayed with me throughout it all…hope.
